有的計 這個月的最後一天，有點小感冒，不停地流鼻涕，還有5天就要離家回學校，開始新的一學期，不知道是不是每次離家都會生病，好像還真的挺有規律的……

        這個假期的生活，坦白說，有點浪費，所劃都沒有付諸行動，跆拳道，電腦，韓語，練琴，看書，全都幻化成泡影了，真失敗啊！我跋山涉水的把書從學校拿回來，結果就看了幾頁，有點對不起我的勞動！

        真是一個絕對放松的假期呀！不過這絕對是最後一個！從今以後，只要有想法，一定馬上ACTION！

        必須奮鬥一段時間了，因爲感覺到自己還有那麽多的事沒有辦到。

        對于新的學期，還是充滿恐懼的，不像剛大一那會兒，很興奮，刺激。新鮮的東西總會變枯燥的！

        對於打算，也不想說太多，專業必須學好，不然將來沒錢買好吃的東西，也沒錢買機票，更不能和心儀的人一起去散心……

        在這幾年的時間里被葬送，我將無法原諒自己，包括我的家人他們會絕望透頂，所以我必須鞭策自己。不能容許自己任性了，因為感到一種可怕的東西向自己靠近，是年齡。唯一能摧毀我意志的東西就是時間。這一個大好的機會，物質和精神都向我靠攏，我沒有理由不努力，沒有理由放任自己，沒有理由浪費青春。

        如果我沒有做到（5年內沒有好的工作機會、好的前途和好的環境），我將再也沒有翻身的可能，我的下場就是在個無聊的小城市裡度過庸俗的下半生：和一個不適合的人結婚，生一個沒有理想的孩子，干一個可有可無的工作，發胖，打麻將，看電視，下館子吃火鍋，不停換手機的款式，買專賣店打折的鞋子，做著望子成龍的美夢……那將是一個噩夢！

             心情还是蛮不错的，四级居然过了，在此之前心理一直七上八下的，老天待我不薄呀！

             一鼓作气，下学期可以考六级了，希望都是一次就可以成功……

             加油！FIGHTING！

     其实无药可救的积极也没什么不好，最起码自己是满足的。糟糕的度过了半个假期，所以不能再持续下去了。我还真不是能耐得住寂寞的人呀，要怎样才能学会真正享受孤独呢？有一个朋友说过，只有乌鸦才成群结队的飞，雄鹰永远都是独自展翅翱翔……为什么过了这么多年我还是那只笨笨的乌鸦呢？离开了他们的庇佑，仿佛都不能存活。

     他们一个个离开的时候，我欢天喜地，还庆幸不会有人再烦我，结果现在……

     琳子去了趟海拉尔然后又马上转战上海，肖肖扎在北京就不回来了，佳佳在沈阳倒也逍遥快活，还有那个该死的雪儿，为了那个什么建模，在哈尔滨血战，不对，不能说是血战，看她和宁玩的挺开心，打的挺火热的，典型的有异性没人性的家伙

     我真是满肚子的委屈，满肚子的牢骚，满肚子的抱怨呀！！！

     真是苦命的娃儿……

     现在我也想通了很多事，谁都不可能陪我一辈子，包括父母。很多事情也不能只看表面，原来他不只对我一个人好，还是珍惜那些值得珍惜的人吧！

         绝对的私人空间看来是没有的……所以……（或许人类本身就存在着窥探心理吧）

         写这篇日志之前我还泪流满面呢……（喘一声粗气）为什么我还是这么爱哭呢？其实也不关我的事呀？！我脑袋到底在想些什么……

         哎呀，反正就是乱乱的……班里要搞一个聚会，我的身份蛮尴尬的，不知道算不算是这个班的成员，当然我是一厢情愿的认为是啦！我这个人别的本事没有，就会躲，所以害得我隐身了好几天……（心理怕怕的哦）

         我的人生好像就是在玩躲猫猫，而我一直在扮演着躲避的角色……

         后来，也就是今天，意外看到了和我有同样身份的人写的博客，不过说实话，还真是有些过分，怎么可以那样写呢。然后就是看到那个群公告，看的我呀，这小心脏差点没承受住……

         如果说高中有什么最快乐的回忆，应该就是高二那年吧；如果说高中有什么最后悔的选择，应该就是离开五班吧。以前总是听肖给我讲关于五班的消息，心理难免有些涩涩的…         所以这一切其实我很珍惜的……

         悄悄的，唤起往日的柔情；

         淡淡的，抹不掉过去的记忆。

         完好的珍藏这段记忆吧……

  居然有些怀念起在学校的日子，虽然有太多的不如意，但至少还可以证明存在的价值。那个时候晚上和玲仔晚上一边在饭堂看电视，一边给蚊子补充血液，但也觉得很幸福！

  学校真的是一个良好的避风港，真的不知道今后要怎样面对这个残忍的社会……

      考听力简直就是再考我的想象能力，

      考词汇简直就是再考我的猜测能力，

      考阅读简直就是再考我的推断能力，

      考作文简直就是再考我的灌水能力。

   难熬的四级终于完了，一瞬间轻松了下来！回想考试的时候心脏突突的跳，手指颤抖，真是往事不堪回首呀！反正过与不过，现在都不是我该思考的问题了，接下来就准备其他的考试吧，过好在学校的最后13天，暑假即将来临，幸福生活马上就要开始了……

   而现在只能继续在水深火热中挣扎了……

          肖肖、微、晶、雪、表弟、还有老翟同志，他们都参加了今年的这场战役，才发现原来我还有这么多人来惦记。被惦记是幸福的，惦记别人也同样是幸福的！

        真是从一个极端跳到另一个极端呀……

        背单词，听听力，磨耳朵，只能强迫自己了……

        不过好在一切事情都在向好的方向发展，再过一个多月，我就可以快快乐乐的回家，享受我的小生活了。而且下学期就可以换宿舍，总算可以脱离苦海了……

        不过好像似乎很对不起玲仔，如果说，还有什么在乎的人，什么不舍，那也就只有她了。可惜有很多事情不是人为可以控制的……

        只希望她可以好好的，快快乐乐的，和那些人就好聚好散吧……

        好，努力加油！一定要把那些破考试都过了！

———Feelings after reading Bible Stories

外语系 07级 应用（一）班 NO.34

When I was a child,I was always told many stories about Bible from my grandparents.At that moment,I think the little story is very interesting and full of marvelous.I think everyone was familiar with many chapters of the stories,like Adam and Eve,The Savior is Born,Jesus Is Alive,and so on.

Now I have a chance to read all the stories,although I think the stories is too much and in a great mess.Of course,the “Bible Stories” is a window to get to know western countries. It’s a classical book in the western country.

The Bible Stories include two parts:The Stories of the Old Testament and The Stories of the New Testament.The Stories of the Old Testament was told about Jewish and their own strict God.The Stories of the New Testament was told about several Jewish made their own God became the God to all the people.Strict God changed into God who was full of love. It begins from the God make world 7 days,then Adam and Eve appear,they eat the fruit from the forbidden tree. Then the world have appeard a new creature---people.

After reading this book ,I really have something to say.It’s just my opinion.It’s not means I didn’t respect God and the western countries,I swear!It’s just a student feelings,maybe it isn’t very perfect or it’s radical views.

First,the God give me most impressive.Why? I always think God is kindness and merciful. He is full of love. But after I read “Bible Stories”, I found the God is too selfish. He needs everyone obey him.If someone disobey him ,he will do something so cruel. I think it is too terror. “There is so much evil in the world that I can no longer save it,”God said. “I will send a flood so deep that everything living in the earth will be destroyed.”

He has power,but why he can’t make good use of his power?Why he must produce a “tragedy of the human world?”

Second,also I was shocked by this story---“Cain and Abel”.They are brothers,but at last Abel killed by Cain.It’s just because jealous.It’s so hard to understanding.Why they couldn’t love each other like real brothers?

This is a hard question.I don’t know why the story can spread to now. The ancestor give us this lesson and what they want us to understand.I don’t know others ,but I just feel bloody and violence.

Third,this story is about “A Test of Faith”.God knew that Abraham was a faithful person.Still,there was one more test to show Abraham that God was different from any other gods.God asked Abraham to bring Isaac to a nearby mountain and offer him as a sacrifice.

Abraham is really lifted the knife to her son.I think he is a silly faithful person. His son didn’t have any fault.He is an innocent person.

I think most people like me can’t understand this silly action.

From the stories of the old testament,it’s full of collison and fight.But when the Savior is born,we can learn something about love.Jesus is the son of of God.Today also have many people believe in Jesus in the world.They called “Christan”,also my grandma is one of them.

Jesus is very kind,he help people for the sick. .He said it was against God’s commandments to kill a person ,but was also evil just to think about killing someone.He told everyone to think and behave kindly toward one another.

Something about Jesus is too mysterious,like a magic.He can do anything. He can made the people come back from the dead.He can made the blind people see and the deaf people listen.

We all know Jesus is Crucified and Jesus is Alive. “Don’t think too much about this world.It’s better to leave the ways of the world behind and save your soul than lose your soul to the sins of the world.”Jesus said.

Although I don’t have any religion belief.But I believe in love.I think it can make our world better and better.Where there is love ,there is hope.There is a place where colors are brighter,the air softer,and the morning fragrant that ever again.

I believe!

部分人名注释：Cain and Abel 该隐与亚伯 Abraham亚拉伯罕 Isaac 以撒

     过了这么多年，经历了这么多事，有些事情总会记得不那么真切，然而，当某些固定的场景突兀地映入你眼帘，你会知道，总会那么一些细节会在不经意间敲打你的内心，催生一种叫做感动的物质……